Exams are stressful and exam results are more stressful and nerve-wracking for both the child and parent. Exam result tension starts the day child starts preparing for exams, continues through exams and reaches its peak when the results are to be declared.
A good academic performance is considered very important in our present society and naturally, all parents wish that their children perform well in academics for a bright future. Marks obtained in an exam is one and only judging factor of how brilliant and intelligent the child is, in our present society.
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To deal with exam results stress the parent and child have the different type of anxiety, nervousness, and apprehensions. Both have different characteristics and role to play. Let us discuss both (parent and child) with different angles on how to deal before and during the announcement of the results.
- Steer clear of discussing results – Discussing how many marks your child will obtain in each subject, an overall percentage he/she will score, etc. will only increase child worries, anxiety and stress levels. The child will develop feeling that you will only love and value him only if he/she meets your expectations.
- Have realistic expectations and be normal – There can be only one topper. Your child may be studying regularly and may be good at studies but don’t get frustrated on not seeing your child among the toppers list. Be normal, getting good marks may be good, and as you know academic is only just one aspect out of many aspects of life.
- Many mouths many tongues – Your child’s result is in no way going to define your social standing or status in your society or family. As there are many mouths so there will be many tongues to say one thing or the other. So do not get disturbed mentally or emotionally if your child does not score well and people start talking negative and useless things.
- Shun comparison – Comparing your child with another will lower his self-esteem. Do not compare him/her with his friends or other cousin or with his past performance, he/she will feel disgraced and start hating his friends/cousin/peers as he may think himself being inferior to them.
- Console your child – Before results, your child may experience a tremendous amount of pressure and stress. You can feel the signs of stress when he /she complains about not feeling hungry, head or stomach ache, sleeplessness, frequent bad temper, and not enjoying activities which he/she previously enjoyed.
Parents, if you see any of those signs which show your child is stressed, try to lift up his spirits. Let him/her enjoy a movie, dance and play around. Be clear to put a message across that you know your child has given the best and you are and will be with him no matter what the results are. Your words, assurance, and belief in his/her ability will ease him out of the stressful situation.
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- Share your emotions – Discussing answers once the paper is over will give you unnecessary stress. If answers are wrong your confidence will drop and you will not able to prepare well for your next paper. Before results, you may have a lot of emotional ups and downs. Share your emotions, your feelings with some adult in your family like parents, grandparents, elder sister or elder brother. Talk freely about your distress. Once you pour out you will feel light-hearted. There are also numerous online resources where you can empty your heart.
- A day before result announcement – You will come to know about result declaration day one or two in advance through various media. A day before the result is one of the most stressful day. Avoid taking stimulants like coffee, energy drink, or carbonated drinks like coke etc. These drinks increase stress levels. If possible stay away from social media like Facebook, Whatsapp etc. as there will be a lot of discussion going on regarding results and reading all this may sometimes disturb you. Read your favorite book, go for a movie, watch cartoons on TV, engage yourself in games, or some physical activity. It will divert your mind from the results and you will feel relaxed also.
- On the day of result – Have some adult on your side when you are seeing your results. Let your parent or some adult accompany you. Actually, students are so excited that they want to be alone when they see their results and then like to break the news to others. Elders on your side will help you to keep your nerves calm. And in case if results are not according to your expectation then they will be there to give you much needed emotional support.
- If results are not as per your expectation – Scoring below expectation or low marks is not the end of the world. DO NOT PANIC. You have more chances to appear for exams and score better marks. Speak to your teacher, parent or counselor what to do next. If you look at the history you will find many achievers who did not succeed on the first try but that did not dishearten them. They kept trying till they succeeded.
- Have a good nap – If the result is not favorable have a good sleep before deciding on anything. Give yourself time to handle disappointments and let the bad feeling pass off. Most of your excitement and disappointment will vanish when you wake up. Be cool because few years down the line these marks or grades will lose their importance.
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Good marks are helpful only for initial footing in the job market. But your caliber, hard work, innovative ideas, experience and things like that will count in a long run. You can ask most of the people, they won’t even remember how much percentage they scored in their exams. Same will happen to you after few years down the line. Remember to be persistent in chasing your dreams.